Thursday, July 31, 2008

David Caruso´s wrinkles...


Will someone over at CSI: Miami please cut that crap out with the bad writing!!Every chance they get, they give David Caruso some goofy line that's supposed to make him sound like a badass-go get 'em cop! It's gotten so bad that every other thing David Caruso says is one of these pseudo bad-ass lines, it's distracting from the show.
One of the biggest mysteries of pop culture is, for me, why David Caruso can't seem to act without cocking his head to the side. And to think I actually thought he was attractive on NYPD Blue!
One of the good things about CSI: MIAMI is that David Caruso's fairly low voice comes in loud and clear even when he's doing his throwaway wisecracks.....(deering pauses for the inevitable agonized shrieks from certain ng posters...;)
For a television show, the amount of detail is quite remarkable. Every line on David Caruso's face, and there are many, is clear throughout this DVD presentation and while the swishing about of the camera blurs the picture a little, there is absolutely nothing to criticise as regards the encoding of the picture...
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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

David Caruso - Too hideous for my iPod

I am BANNING: hideous CBS TV show artwork and promotional logos from being etched on iPods. This is just too tacky for words. It’s one thing to watch CSI, but it’s totally another to want David Caruso’s wrinkled face forever emblazoned on your iPod.
Take David Caruso at his most pretentious. Add some of the worst dialogue ever written. Then have the former mouth the latter with grave portent and Shatneresque pauses and you get a comedy called CSI Miami.
David Caruso is so hideous, though. Hopefully he won't show his butt again!...
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http://pophangover.com/fanorban/?p=51
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

David Caruso - Ginger cats!

Ever had a funny conversation about David Caruso at the picket-fence? Well, those two people did...LOL

......
I wish David Caruso had a brother.

Danny Bonaduce?

Danny Bonaduce? Ew. All kinds of bad use of the color red going on.

Bix, please don't sully the skills of David Caruso with the likes of Bonadouche

What skills? I don't think David Caruso is good enough to have a show on the same network as Lara "I wrecked my new baby daddy's home" Logan.

What do you have against the Gingers Cat??

Hello? Have you ever watched the man put on then take off his sunglasses. Brando couldn't have dreamed of showing that much emotion.

Not to mention that dry wit.

That's emotion? I thought it was gas.

As with touch, there are good gingers and bad gingers.

Caruso and the sunglass bit...only Caruso and Bruckheimer knew you could make a successful show that really only contained one man putting on and taking off sunglasses.....
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Charisma Vacuum David Caruso

In a list of the dullest TV actors on the planet there are too many to note. However, these are small fry compared to a man who has managed to fashion a very successful career.
He rose to prominence in 'NYPD Blue' and after a failed film career returned to the small screen for the immensely popular 'CSI Miami'.
I am talking about none other than the charisma vacuum that is David Caruso. Why on earth they cast a red headed man to star in a show based in Miami is beyond me, I assume that they have to peel his head every night from sunburnt and skin cancer.
Anyway, it is this man (and the abysmal coroner) that means I do not watch 'Miami' even though I love 'CSI'...
'CSI: Miami' could have been decent with some wiser casting.
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Monday, July 28, 2008

David Caruso and Webster´s Dictionary


Have you ever googled "Webster¨s New American Dirctory"? Well, a fellow poster did and came up with the following:

Webster's New American Dictionary:
overactor \ˌō-vər-ˈakt-or\
noun1 : one who acts more than is necessary
2 : David Caruso

David Caruso is just plain bad -- not just on CSI: Miami but in any part he has ever played. I'm not sure there is any actor on CSI: Miami that puts in a good performance.
I like how he appears out of nowhere in the show. The camera will pan to the next scene and he'll just be standing there. He hardly ever walks or moves, besides teleporting.
Damn.....that dude is so fucking retarded..
Don't do a Caruso!!!!!!!... It's a line for people who fuck up their careers....
David Caruso went from being a fag.... to a fag with one liners..

Sunday, July 27, 2008

David Caruso is just irritatingly BAD

From our Brazilian friends and supporters. Even in the jungle they can´t stand David Caruso!

Por falar em Csi, há muito tempo que tenho umas coisas a bailar na cabeça. O Gil Grissom (William Petersen) de Csi:Las Vegas é metódico; Mac Tailor ( Gary Sinise) de Csi: Nova Iorque é decidido; Horatio Caine (David Caruso) de Csi: Miami é... convencido.
Que entrada , até doeu.
Desculpem mas é a verdade.
Gosto de ver os dois Csi , mas dispenso o Miami. Horatio Caine fica tão decido que só falta por uma placa a dizer: "eu vou conseguir". Mais interessante: ele só faz promessas do tipo: " don´t hurry , miss ,i will catch him" e só a mulheres bonitas, desde que me lembre.
Penso que David Caruso é mesmo convencido , pois responde mal ao produtor e etc..

......Speaking of CSI, for some time now I wanted to post this.
Gil Grissom (William Petersen), Csi: Las Vegas is methodical;
Mac Taylor (Gary Sinise), Csi: New York is decided;
Horatio Caine (David Caruso), Csi: Miami is ... bland and boring.
Sorry but the truth is. I love to see the two Csi, but I despise CSI Miami. Horatio Caine is so irritatingly bad. David Caruso is a talentless hack who behaves like a Diva on set irritating producers and other cast-members. Nobody really likes him.
Therefore, I advise if you want to see a great show watch CSi or CSI NY - do not to watch CSI Miami...David Caruso ruins it....(Translation : Google-Tools)
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Saturday, July 26, 2008

David Caruso´s hooker talks!

  • EXCLUSIV - David Caruso´s latest bed bunny opens up in an honest interview.
    WHERE she met David Caruso - "who was ripe for the plucking" . She talks freely about the redheads preference of racial mixes and hookers South of the Border and her plans once David Caruso dumps her for someone else...
    Read the open and honest interview and find out -
  • When and how she met David Caruso
  • Aminas true "career" before David Caruso became her sugar-daddy.
  • David Carusos preferences when it comes to women
  • Aminas take on the paprazzi
  • Aminas hopes and plans for the future

http://davidcaruso.personalfanpages.com/3250/David+Caruso+-+My+name+is+Amina+Islam+and+I%B4m+a+hooker.html

Friday, July 25, 2008

David Caruso - How NOT to catch ....

.... a stalker!

This week we stumpled upon an interesting blurb. Normally, we stay away from all the "stalker-talk" since the self-proclaimed stalker-hunters have failed to come up with anything substantial until now.
However this little post which was left by someone calling himself/herself "Angelhair" made us stop and read twice:
"I may have an actual picture of the woman accused of stalking David Caruso. I believe I met her at my aunt´s house. She attended one of our meetings at the Kingdom Hall. Many people think she is an American. Only when she talks one notices the accent.She says she is from Germany.If you want the photo let me know how much you are ready to spend for it. Mail me an offer angelhair1984@hotmail.com "July 23, 2008 Angelhair

Personally, we doubt that such a picture exists at all. We have contacted this person, but got no response so far. Only time will tell if there is any truth to this post.
@
On a lighter note - what do "stalker-hunters" if their "efforts" - namely posting 5 year old pictures of unknown people- show NO RELULTS whatsoever?
They make up /confabulate things.
Just take the video of a police raid from YouTube and let your fantasy reign. It provided us with the laugh of the week if nothing else. Since we never have been in Tijuana nor a place like the "Adalita Bar" we can´t say for sure . However, we highly doubt that those enviroments/bars have windows someone possibly could escape through . Except the person in question is some sort of "Wonderwoman" with the power to walk through walls.
Does anybody wonder why authorities don´t take them seriously at all? Many people have e-mailed us asking if this was a joke....LOL...
We anxiously wait for the next fantasy-blurb of the stalker-hunters. Why not letting the alleged stalker done a cape and fly through the air? Or something a bit more outrageous perhaps - just to keep people interested?
@
Last but not least - one good thing has resulted in all that blurbs, posts and fantasy events. Traffic on our David Caruso blogs has trippled. So whoever this alleged stalker is we guess we have to thank HER and the stalker-hunters for providing free PR.....

David Caruso - Delusional

Have you ever come across a comment that made you gag or spill your coffe because it is so hilarious?
Well we did. This morning.

David likes to associate ourselves and define ourselves as the Dreamworks of digital media. Now that’s a pretty bold statement, but he’s a big Hollywood star, so he can say that,” Frank said.
(http://www.thevillagesdailysun.com/articles/2008/07/24/villages/villages01.txt)

Cough*cough*cough... We know they have to do their best to promote Lexicon Digital. However calling David Caruso "a huge Hollywood star" is a bit rich.

Where are the blockbusters David Caruso stared in?
Where are the successful endeavours that make a true "huge Hollywood star"?
Where did they get that illusion from?

Looks like someone has been a bit delusional in his praise for David Caruso. Parise he certainly doesn´t deserve. Last but not least it remains to be seen if LEXICON Digital will be successful or turn into just another David Caruso failure...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

David Caruso - Damnit Caruso!!!

This little beauty was e-mailed to us by one of our many readers. It is a fairly entertaining rant. For pure entertainment value we didn´t change anything. Sometimes watching David Caruso act brings out the worst in people...
Enjoy...

I browse around these boards once in awhile because I do enjoy CSI: Miami and I see a constant hate here for David Caruso. I do agree, he defiantly isn't the greatest actor and can be poor at times ...

I HATE David Caruso!
Why?
He always states the obvious
He makes the most idiotic comments and stupid one liners, and tries to make them cool like "here in Miami, we never close". You're a frickin crime lab! If you closed, who cut up all the dead people you tool!
Everyone else calls him H.
WHY?!
Wait, I know!
Because Horatio is the lamest name ever!
While they call him H, I call him stupid!
BUY SOME NEW SUNGLASSES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN! Raybans like yours were in fashion at the same time I looked up to Paris Hilton as a role model...which is NEVER!
Speaking of sunglasses, could you leave them on. If you can't properly see the dead body with them on, which it seems every else can do, then don't put them on in the first place!
What is sooooooooooo interesting about the ground. Look up once in a while man! Maybe you'll remember how to get a life!
I HATE HIM
I HATE HIM
I HATE HIM
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http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MID=367137231&MemberId=2621104212
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For all those who love to make fun of David Caruso - and we know there are a lot of you out there - here is a link to a great video by "The Spectacals"

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

David Caruso's acting is like watching cheeze sweat.

....I find it interesting that out of the 3 spin offs "CSI Miami" is the worst, mainly due to Caruso's acting. This is a show, like its star, David Caruso, that sharply divides critics.
Last time, Vanity Fair's James Wolcott took a swipe at Caruso's "macho-moron empath perversion of the Dirty Harry mystique," along with his "overstated understated acting" — a judgment with which I had to concur based on the number of times I have heard David Caruso's voice delivering line readings as if he were suffering through a supremely boring script read-through.
David Caruso; His body language, abetted by baroque Leading Man camera angles — he's often photographed from somewhere around his ankles, as if he were a human lighthouse — is as mannered as his delivery.
Caruso moves slower and talks slower than anyone on television. He cocks his head in ways that would give most people a crick in their neck....

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

David Caruso - TV Guide treasures

Sometimes old/dated topics are treasure chests for the "blurb of the day".
This one was found on the TV Guide and provided us with the chuckle of the day. Of course, we are more than happy to share it with our dear readers/visitors...

Q) Why doesn't Caruso do talk shows unless he's forced to for promotional reasons?
A) Because he'd blow his cover if he ever had to smile and seem likable? It would ruin the character type he makes his living off.
(posted by Posted by ARTGODFREY Jul 21, 2008 11:06 PM)

EXACTLY.
Besides, it is not like people fall over themselves to have David Caruso on the show. One time a week for one hour (46 minutes without commericals) is more than enough...

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http://community.tvguide.com/thread/David-Caruso/David-Caruso-Video/800028510&start=15
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David Caruso - Revealed! Khandi Alexander left because of Caruso!

Somehow we knew it all along..Why else would leave someone like Khandi Alexander- an actress with a great work record - a show like CSiIMiami in the middle of a season?

Because she wanted to do something else? Nope.

Because she got bored with her character? Double nope.

TV Squad wrote what many of us have been thinking : Alexander left because of David Caruso!

....Producers of CSI: Miami have found a new coroner. Starting this season, The 4400's Megalyn Echikunwoke will fill the role vacated by Khandi Alexander. Alexander parted ways with the series after six years due to her alleged unhappiness with the show *cough* David Caruso *cough.*Do you even watch CSI: Miami, or like me, are you repelled by David Caruso and his sunglasses?...

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http://www.tvsquad.com/2008/07/22/csi-miami-casts-a-new-coroner/
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Well, we are Repelled ... repelled ... REPELLED! One just can´t get past David Caruso and his sunglasses.

Monday, July 21, 2008

David Caruso - Fuck, Marry or Kill - The CSI Main Men Edition!

It is a game that has been played by generations of people all over the world. What it makes so funny is that everyone can chose the person/character/hero he /she prefers. We thought that setting up a CSi Miami edition would be a bit boring - the middle child of the franchise clearly lacks attractive and interesting men - we decided to set up a special "CSI Main Men edition" of the very popular game.

Our suggestions are:
F - Gary Sinise as MacTaylor
M - William Petersen as Gil Grissom
K - David Caruso as HoCaine

Okay Ladies, F, M K, CSI Main Men Edition.
Do you agree with us?
Or would you rather do someone else?
Let us know and cast your vote on:


For those who don´t agree with our suggestions we have allowed write in votes. Just in case...

David Caruso - His very bad reputation!

IMDb has provento be a vast source of people who think like us. The following is a prime example of a refershing clear view on David Caruso and his bad reputation which most likely will follow him to his grave.

.....David Caruso will probably never do another movie again, considering his track record of box office flops. From what I've read in the past, the guy is known or was known to have a very diva like attitude. regardless of that attitude his films may or may not have still flopped, but I believe it was his diva like attitude that gave him a very bad reputation. Besides, I don't think natural redheads playing a lead character do very well at the box office (i'll exclude robert redford) - not trying to be mean, just stating a well-known-fact.... (posted by ntbt)
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Thank you a million to http://canonmalaysians.blogspot.com/ for linking us. Great blog by great guys!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

David Caruso - Amina Islam "work"-video?

Our call to old friends, aquaintances and ex-lovers of Indian/Pakistani/AlQuida-tart Amina Islam finally seems to have paid off! Sent to us by a complete stranger is a video of Amina Islams alleged former working place. Until David Caruso - on one of his frequent visist to Tijuana brothels - noticed her.

Even if Amina managed to blend into society somehow one still can see traces of her former life in her face.
Like one of our readers posted :
"David Caruso´s latest bed bunny worked her way up on her back. Not that there where any doubt ever about the real nature of Aminas "career"!"
(http://davidcaruso.personalfanpages.com/3244/David+Caruso+-+Amina+Islam%B4s+casting+photo%21.html)
We second that!!!
Link to the video: http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh0nWrGJXWE

Saturday, July 19, 2008

David Caruso - Trainwreck!

Nothing more refreshing that starting a new day with posts like this! Thak you guys!
Just like Edison Chen who can't dance; David Caruso can't act. Period and David Caruso speaking in a low, ridiculously unreal voice. His oh so cliché lines always make me snort
However, that is not stopping him.
You could have seen Jim Carey did an impression of him in one of the David Letterman's show.
However, this one is even more hilarious. Check the website linked blow for another hilarious David Caruso spoof video! Best thing we have seen in a very long time!
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Friday, July 18, 2008

Becoming David Caruso.....


Here is another hilarious clip of Joel Mchale making fun of David Caruso on "The Soup".


Joel McHale has really mastered the art of spoofing David Caruso!!!

While I do like the show, I agree that David Caruso is annoying to watch. Always the same things - the way he stands sideways with his head tilted towards the camera, whenever theres a full body shot of him he has to have his hands touching or on his hips (like he doesn't know what to do with his hands when he acts), the schweezy one-liners right before they cut to another scene or commercial...I could go on.
I also heard that he makes them re-do most of the scenes he is in until HE is satisfied with it.
Diva!!!
I saw David Caruso at Disneyland a few months ago wearing a t-shirt and baseball cap. Funny that nobody else seemed to recognize him. He was passing out his cards! You didn't even have to ask for one. Too funny.
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Thursday, July 17, 2008

David Caruso - Six feet of of the worst kind

Lately, on IMDb...

.....bitching about this show?

Until it gets cancelled or something happens to incapacitate David Caruso beyond the ability to "perform" on TV. Mind you it shouldn't be anything that is life threatening or maiming. At least not immediately.
I hate him.
He just should not be performing on TV or in films.
No one takes David Caruso seriously in that role. It is the worst kind of scenery chewing overacting since Bill Shatner was younger. David Caruso is six feet of the worst kind of Italian ham. It says on here that he guested on an episode of T.J. Hooker twenty five years ago. He must have squirelled away that image of Bill Shatner playing a cop for just such an occasion as CSI: Miami.
It is just so cheesy. It is so far out there it is like a bad parody of a cheap scifi knockoff. Caruso can't actually think this is real acting.
If nobody ever said it I will. Jim Carrey could be more convincing. Just dye his hair red...
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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

David Caruso - Tart Amina Islam photo alert!!!


Indian/Pakistani/AlQuida-tart Amina Islam photo alert!
Since we were so lucky to find a very reliable source in our latest anonymous "tipster". (They are ALL very reliabe, aren´t they?) who provided us with an original Amina Islam casting picture, we have a new challenge for you!
Check your records! Check your cell-phone and e-mail us a photo of David Caruso´s latest arm-candy. Help to get a better picture of the "talents" of the tart who is being getting laid by a Z-list actor.
Islam is believed to have slept her way up - however with only meager results. Despite her "efforts" Amina Islam is still nothing more than just a Background Extra (without credits!!).
Are you one of the producers, casting agents, ex-lovers, dumped lovers..... ? You have been wanting to get in touch with her sincee ages and you just have been waiting for the right moment/opportunity? And did you have any special "experiences" with the wannabe-actress, arm-candy and now David Caruso´s latest bed-bunny you want to share?
Everything goes.
There are no limits!
Just let us know!
Drop us a note, e-mail us pictures and you can be sure we are going to publish it. The tart obviously loves her 5-minutes in the sun. Let´s make sure they will be memorable ones.....LOL

David Caruso - Carusofy AND Carusoism

The Urban Dictionary delivers us with the laugh of the day!

carusofy - is to have your career fucked up as badly as actor david caruso's was before he got his job at CSI:Miami

Carusoism - Noun: Any comical yet retarded one-liner used for the sole purpose of mocking David Caruso of CSI: Miami. Carusoisms are generally initiated by stating the first line with an upwardly skewed pitch, pausing to place aviators over the Carusoist's eyes. Ultimately, after a minuscule pause, a witty completion that ties the beginning words is uttered. Afterwards, the Carusoist is forced to quickly depart the area to the tune of "Won't Get Fooled Again" by the Who. Without debate, the most vital step is the playing of "Wont Get Fooled Again" at the line completion, which completely validates the Carusoism.
CSI: Miami always opens with a Carusoism.


Man: Maybe he took off.

Caruso: Or maybe... *Put aviators on*...He got taken for a ride.

THEME: YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHUHHHH.

*Swiftly exit the room.*

Carusowned - A combination of the word "owned" and "Caruso", referencing David Caruso who is the lead actor on TV show CSI Miami. To Carusown someone you speak part of a statement, put sunglasses on, then conclude the statement. This is followed by the 'YEEEAAAAAHHHHH!' that begins the CSI Miami opening credits.


"Well it appears that I" *put on sunglasses* "... have beaten you at go fish"

*YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!*

"You just got carusowned."
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David Caruso - Maybe he pokes his eyes out!!!


The net harbours the funniest people on this planet.
A few like David Caruso.
However, most people hate and despise David Caruso. And rightfully so. After all, he is the carbuncle on the asshole of the world.
The following gem comes - once again - from IMDb.....

"Oh c'mon.
Caruso is a Shakespearean master thespian. Don't you, recognize it, from his, "acting"? (removes sunglasses) He is acting you know. (tilts head) Well he is doing his best darn impersonation of an actor anyway. Translation of line: = "Thanks Frank you big fat idiot for telling me the obvious for like the sixtieth time you big fat loser." (dons sunglasses)

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe the Miami in this show is meant to be like a Miami FL from an Earth in a parallel universe. CSI: Miami is really some kind of very badly done absurdly exxaggerated sci fi fantasy. It does have one thing going for it. It would be impossible to parody it as it is already an unintentional parody.
It's great if you want to cringe and wince over something. Or if you want to learn how to talk and tilt your head, while removing or donning your sunglasses all at the same time.
I suppose we could hope that the sun gets in his eyes one day as he is putting on his sunglasses and he pokes an eye out...LOL"
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Monday, July 14, 2008

David Caruso - Amina Islam´s original casting picture!


This picture is believed to show Indian/Pakistani/AlQuida-tart and new David Caruso bed bunny Amina Islam doing what she obviously can do best - working "flat on her back".
We were "tipped off" by a complete stranger who reassured us that the ass in question is indeed tart Amina Islam.
If you if you compare those two pictures you will come to the conlcusion that this is one and the SAME WOMAN...

Thank you!!!

David Caruso - Who let the dogs out?

The following comes from a source we normally wouldn´t cite. We are vary of fan-sites since they are always biased in their reporting. However, this time one of their statements is not only note-worthy but spot on that we decided to give it room over here.
Human beings sometimes are like dogs. Throw them a bone and they will go crazy and gnaw on it until nothing is left of it.
Throw people a few morsels of "information" - mostly false, mostly fabricated, mostly half-truth - and see what happens. What will surface are "tips" by people who like to make fun of the original poster . Or to throw in their own two cents eager to see if the original poster "swallows" it - depending on the intelligence of the original poster (or lack of thereoff)
It is funny to watch and - good for the people who are really involved - it has next to nothing to do with reality. It only throws people off "the right track" and very often misleads them - which can be a blessing too...

"Talk about wild investigations......As well, photos have been floating around, on the internet, of a woman, referred to as “Heidi”. According to the various, yet unsubstantiated, reports, she is working as a prostitue in inconspicuous surroundings in Mexico. Apparently, there are plenty of people with point-in-shoots willing to make claims. I’ve yet to find any good, reliable sources on all this......."

We second that....

Sunday, July 13, 2008

David Caruso - Viva Zapata!

For three days now we have been reminded by "sarakanne" over and over again - that somebody who allegedly is stalking David Caruso is supposedly hiding in Tijuana.
Note the words allegedly and supposedly. We use them on purpose for the simple reason because the original posters - sarakanne etc. - can´t say for sure. Which translates into "They don´t have a clue".
However there are a few points we like to address since they caught our interest and they need to be answered:
  1. She may be working in Tijuana's famous Red Light District and it is highly likely she has changed her appearance. Highly likely means what exactly? Does she or doesn´t she? Do you know that or not? And what the heck is "Tijuana's famous Red Light District " supposed to mean? Where is it? Don´t tell us you are not able to tell us how the area is called? How believable you are anyway?

  2. wanted by the FBI or Austria's Bundeskriminalamt ......well, another big question-mark. There is no reference on the FBI homepage nor on the homepage of the Austrian Bundeskriminalamt that may support your claims. Neither under "Most wanted" nor under "Fugitives". Which raises a huge question-mark about the veracity of your claims - again. Besides, we have heard that the warrant for Austria ends at the EU-border. Which means it is not an International warrant...check facts first, please. People are not that stupid.

  3. Mexican authorities will only become involved if there is an official request by an other government. Otherwise they won´t bother since they have more important things to do than hunt alleged stalkers solely based on a few old pictures posted on inane blogs maintanied by people who are clueless.

  4. A nuestros amigos Mexicanos - well, that´s got to be the biggest joke. Especially, if one looks at how badly Mexicans are being mistreated in the USA. Besides, how many of them actually KNOW who David Caruso is or actually CARE about him? Most of them don´t even like to speak English left alone watch the show.

  5. Last but not least a "thank you" alone won´t do. You have to offer your "Mexican amigos" something else - CASH. Thank you alone won´t buy them nothing.

It would be nice and more interesting if sarakanne could come up with information that is not solely based on "alleged", "maybe" etc. Otherwise, you´ll never will catch the alleged stalker . Because people don´t care enough nor do they want to go on a wild-goose chase without being offered at least some facts...

PS. Fabricating "leads" is one thing - however it should to be done in a believeable way. "Adelita Bar" - we guess it was the first bar that came up when sarakanne googled "Tijuana" . Ouch. Try again.

David Caruso - The price is too high

A few days ago a friend e-mailed us the following link.
(Thank you, Anonymous A)
In the meantime the auction is closed.
Taking a closer look something caught our interest. The auction offered a set visit to the Raleigh Studios on Manhatten Beach. Included was a "meet-and-greet" with the cast-members, a CSI Miami DVD and a CSI Miami Baseball cap.
When we scroleld down the page we noticed something called "Offer Range" - From USD 3,400.00 To USD 5,400.00.
Ops!
We don´t know what exactly the people who initiated this auction were thinking - but the result speaks for itself.
NOBODY bid. The auction closed with zero
We doubt there is a fan out there who would be willing to pay 3,400 bucks just to walk around on the set or shake David Carsuo´s hand in passing. CSI Miami may have been a "hot show" 4 years ago and people might have been willing to shell out a hefty sum like that back then but those times apparently are over....

David Caruso´s favourite Mexican brothel!

Lest anyone on the planet wonder where David Caruso goes if he hasn´t the likes of AlQuida-tart Amina Islam to play with? Rumors have it he even met Amina there..... If he has a certain urge or need?
Are you a first-time visitor to Tijuana? Are you a resident looking for an out-of-the-way, inexpensive, yet discreet diversion?
David Caruso´s favourte brothel is the place for you.
Welcome to David Caruso´s favourite Brothel!
It is maintained by a feisty Mexican lady in an accessible location. This allows her to offer her unique services at prices well below those found within the more competitive Tijuana marketplaces.
Prior to David Caruso´s frequent visits , the establishment was an abandoned shack. A plus for your wallet; no rent for her means cheaper thrill for you. AND WE ALL KNOW DAVID CARUSO LIKES IT CHEAP AND QUICK . While it does lack certain amenities most of us have come to expect, it boasts a serenity not found in the hustle and bustle of Tijuana. And it is the place where David Caruso gets his candle-stick polished regularily....
We've been led to believe there is an outhouse behind the shack and a small stream just over the rise; soap, shampoo and insecticides available for a nominal fee. A cozy cottage atmosphere, unfettered by cumbersome furniture or electroncis.
The only convenience is a mattress, low to the floor, providing easy ingress and egress. Battery-operated appliances, beverages and an assortment of snacks may be brought in and are always appreciated. We caution you to bring only ready-to-eat foods. There are no facilities to accommodate items requiring either heat or refrigeration. You might also wish to consider bringing your own portable urinal and perhaps some "Wet Ones" or "Baby Wipes". ...
David Caruso´s favourte brothel is the place for you.

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Saturday, July 12, 2008

David Caruso - Big glory hog!

I always thought that it was kind’of peculiar that the lead investigator Horatio Caine is about as Floridian as… oh jesus… let’s just say “He’s not from around there”.
I think, as an actor, David Caruso may have mastered the rebirth of the under appreciated Captain Kirk monologue technique of dialogue.
David Caruso does “dark and moody” like a strobe light… dark most of the time, then you get blinded while staring intently at the darkness wondering if it’s drama or just bad writing.
I prefer the Vegas version - I just can't stand the corny acting performed by David Caruso's sunglasses. The cheesy lengths they go to in an effort to upstage that hair - seriously!
David Caruso looks like a turtle, the way he turns and stretches his neck!
The show - CSI Miami - would be very good if David Caruso wasn't a big glory hog!
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David Caruso´s PR stunt?

David Caruso's bullied, beleaguered crews...
....count on you!!!

The Defamer ran the following hilarious piece. Maybe we can start to understand why David Caruso has been behaving badly on the set...spitting and cursing in front of child-actors...
Remember?
What caught our interest are two posts by a member of the community -

Puppymaus at 01:40 PM on 07/11/08
Psst, mean rumors have it that David Caruso hired this woman himself to stalk him. Maybe he thinks having a stalker will make him look a lot cooler...who would want to stalk sunglass-guy anyway??

AND

Puppymaus at 03:33 PM on 07/11/08
I agree. Carrot-top didn´t have that much (free) PR in a very long time. It pays to hire your very own stalker!!!

Good points!WE all know that David Caruso always has been some kind of publicity whore. And everything is possible...
To be continued...
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Quote of the day -I remember the days when Caruso couldn't get arrested. ...(http://defamer.com/398389/david-caruso-apparently-just-moody-because-of-his-fugitive-austrian-stalker)

Friday, July 11, 2008

David Caruso gives American culture a BAD name!!!

....Tim and I have replaced cable with a digital antenna that picks up…wait for it…2 channels, I have a new Saved by the Bell.
It’s a little ditty called CSI: Miami.
And it’s awful.
I don’t know what happened…CSI Las Vegas is great, and CSI New York ain’t bad. But CSI Miami, it’s about as bad as it gets.
And the real shame of it all is that whenever it’s on, I CAN’T TURN IT OFF.
And here’s the real kicker. This show, according to something I just read on DIGG (which means it’s gotta be true), is the #1 show IN THE WORLD.

As if David Hasselhoff and Jerry Springer haven’t given us a bad enough name, now we’ve got David Caruso (or Horatio, as I know him) representing American culture to the rest of the world...
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UPDATE - CSI MIAMI has been replaced by CSI LV as #1 show IN THE WORLD.....YUP!!!!.

David Caruso couldn´t hold a candle actingwise...

It is so refreshing when other posters agree with our view on David Caruso. It is very rewarding to meet kindred spirits like the following. It makes our work all the more worth-while!

"I sympathize with your annoyance with the show. When I've seen it the acting isn't really impressive especially with the red-headed actor David Caruso. Its like his character is almost like Agent Smith from the "The Matrix".
He doesn't have much of personality at all.
It just laughable at times to watch and the simple fact with the CSI franchise we all know whats going to happen: A Murder takes place, the crew gathers and consolidates evidence, along with witness statements, either catches and or kills the suspect or they go to trial, end of story.
For me as a TV viewer Shows I enjoy Prison Break, 24, Rescue Me, The Shield and Dexter.They're are far more stimulating and exciting because they consist of the element of surprise in their stories along with great acting of course!
Caruso and CSI Miami couldn´t hold a candle to this shows. "(posted by "ghost7)

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A-G-R-E-E-D!!!!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

David Caruso´s on-set ideosyncrasies

This is an article especially for our Brazilian readers and friends. It has been published on a Brazilian blog and is based upon the world-famous DEFAMER-article ....(http://defamer.com/367763/david-caruso-what-should-i-do-i-am-a-grown-man-with-red-hair)

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Parece que o ego do ator David Caruso tem crescido junto com o prestígio e a audiência de "CSI:Miami". Segundo reportagem do jornal The New York Post, o ator, que vive o afetado Horatio Cane, reescreve todas as cenas em que aparece e dá instruções ao diretor sobre como fazer seu trabalho.Segundo emails mandados ao site Defamer.com, "Caruso não consegue andar e falar ao mesmo tempo - você precisa vê-lo em uma escada. Ele precisa de dúzias de takes para as falas mais simples e não consegue nem colocar suas luvas de CSI em frente às câmeras. Ele fala muito palavrão, geralmente perto de atores crianças, e culpa todo mundo - menos ele próprio - por sua inabilidade em atuar." Uau.E os relatos de um suposto colega de série não pára por aí. "Ele reescreve todas as cenas em que aparece, então a culpa daquelas frases é dele. Ele destrói tudo o que os roteiristas escrevem. E o lance de pôr os óculos escuros (antes de falar uma frase de efeito) foi ele que inventou. Mas, como ele diz a todos nós, 'O que eu posso fazer? Sou um adulto com cabelo ruivo'.""Ele já pediu ao diretor de fotografia para fazer com que parecesse que Horatio estava voando para a cena do crime, explicando que o personagem é na verdade um super-herói mítico. É sério."Um outro espião do set de filmagens acrescentou: "Caruso pergunta, em toda cena, quando vai haver um close dos óculos escuros - em toda cena".Mas um aliado de David Caruso afirmou que as frases de efeito e os óculos escuros "se tornaram uma marca registrada e são momentos ícones da TV. Todo mundo, de Jim Carrey a David Letterman, já o parodiou. Criticar sua habilidade de atuar é ridículo. É óbvio que sua atuação fala por si própria".Sobre as indiscrições de Caruso no set de filmagem, seu aliado afirma: "Ocasionalmente cuspir ou falar palavrão no set? Bom, me ache um homem - ou até mulher - que nunca fez isso. No fim das contas, 'CSI:Miami' é um enorme sucesso, e a vida de David Caruso gira em torno da série e de seus filhos." O ator não quis comentar a reportagem.
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(Transslation - via Google-Language-Tools)

It seems that the ego of actor David Caruso has grown along with the prestige and sitting on "CSI: Miami." According to newspaper reportage of The New York Post, the actor, who lives affected the Horatio Cane, rewrites all the scenes where he appears and the director gives instructions on how to do their work. According to emails sent to the site Defamer.com, "Caruso can not walk and talk at the same time - you must see it in a stairway. He needs to dozens of takes for the simplest words and can not not put your gloves in the CSI front of the cameras. He speaks very Palavrão, generally close to child actors, and blame everyone - except himself - by his inability to act. " Wow. And the reports of an alleged colleague of series does not stop there. "He rewrites all the scenes where he appears, then the fault of those phrases is it. It destroys everything that the roteiristas write. And the bid to put the dark glasses (before speaking a sentence of effect) was that he invented. But , As he tells us, 'What can I do? I am an adult with red hair'. " "He has asked the director of photography seemed to make that Horatio was flying to the scene of the crime, explaining that the character is actually a mythical super-hero. This is serious." Another spy footage of the September added: "Caruso question, throughout scene, where there vai a close of sunglasses - in every scene." But an ally of David Caruso said that the effect of sentences and the dark glasses "have become a trademark and icons are moments of TV. Everyone, from Jim Carrey to David Letterman, has parodiou. Criticar its ability to act is ridiculous . Obviously, their performance speaks for itself. " About the indiscreet of Caruso in September of shooting, his ally said: "Occasionally spit or speak Palavrão in September? Well, I find a man - or even women - who never made it. In the end, 'CSI: Miami' is a huge success, and the life of David Caruso revolves around the series and their children. " The actor did not want to comment on the report.

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David Caruso - Caruso´s blame game

We found the following David Caruso´s quote and couldn´t go past it without rendering our opinion.

"...It really comes down to the fact that, because I was perceived as a bad guy for leaving the show, I think people were rooting against the movies. That was really unfortunate...."

So it is solely the fault of the people who weren´t willing to give Caruso a second chance after he screwed up royally - like the viewers, critics etc. - that ALL the movies he had a role in BOMBED and where straight-to-video-affairs???
What about David Caruso´s bland and boring acting? What about chosing scripts that were simply trash? It is really easy laying the blame ON OTHER PEOPLE when in reality ONESELF is the only one to blame. ..LOL
One of those David Caruso quotes that makes us laugh. It also shows very clearly how grossly David Caruso overestimates himself and his "talents"..

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

David Caruso - A despiseable act

We are neither directly nor personally involved in the whole sad business. However, we think this is A VERY SERIOUS MATTER. So we decided to mention it here.
Publishing links with photos of minors is a very despiseable act. Someone mentally very disturbed who calls herself "StalkerHunter" did just like that.
After publishing the photograph of a yet unknown woman she also posted the link to the website KNOWING that there are also a lot of pictures of children (mostly minors).
Trying to get some attention is one thing. But we draw the line when innocent small children are involved. Sarakanne should be ashamed of herself! We only can condemn this despiseable act and hope that the owners of the blog will take offense and act accordingly...for the sake of the children !!!
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We all know that Sarakannes descend into madness has been a quick one. Now she seems to fantasize and dream about David Caruso´s alleged stalker day and night. Yesterday Sarakanne (the resident nutcase)- claiming to have done some detective work - posted a picture from 2003 which she found on the Internet.
Now she claims that this woman is allegedly David Caruso´s alleged stalker. Of course, the final proof is lacking - which is nothing new when it comes to Sarakanne.
Seeing that the photograph yielded NO results at all Sarakanne went into desperation mode and posted THE LINK TO THE PICTURE.
People, keep in mind that it was SARAKANNE WHO FOUND the picture. She is the ONLY ONE who knows the LINK.
It is the second last post...it clearly says SARAKANNE.
It is one thing to fantasize about people that don´t exist but another to link a webpage with countless minors on it. Sarakanne needs psychiatric help immediately. Or better yet , the officials who own the webpage should take offense and act accordingly.

Last but not least please note Sarakannes significant admission....
"At this time, I do not have independent verification..."
We think that says it ALL...

David Caruso - A certain kind of female

Recently we ran a picture of David Caruso´s latest toy/bed bunny - Indian/Pakistani/AlQuida-tart Amina Islam.
As expected, the comments/reactions of our many readers were mixed. The following comment was made by one of our favourite visitors. As always it is dead on.

ENJOY!!!
WE DID!!!!
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"...Ladies - please! How the hell can you tell her skintone from a picture... don't you know they doctor everything you see ...

Everyone knows its an alien!!!

It takes a certain kind of female to hook up with a man with a certain kind of reputation..... and if she doesn't know his reputation, she MUST have been on another planet.... so, there you have it, she is an alien!!!! ..."(posted by Anonymous A)
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http://davidcaruso.personalfanpages.com/3235/David+Caruso+-+Polls%2C+gossip%2C+fun+and+more%21.html
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ROFLMAO!!!!

Saturday, July 05, 2008

David Caruso - Part-Time Parenting

This is a picture from March 2006. It shows David Caruso and 6-month-old Marquez out on a stroll in Santa Monica.

Why we show this old picture?

David Caruso´s youngest child is almost nine-months-old now and except a very early picture with mother Liza Marquez in December 2007 in a stroller (invisible for the rest of the world) there are no pictures existing of the girl.
Of course, when this pictureswas made times where different. David Caruso still was with the baby-mother playing happy family (obviously with an expiration date).
When Paloma was born David Caruso was already seeing another woman in Miami...
(http://davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.com/2008/01/david-caruso-national-enquirer-article.html )
We can only gues about the reasons WHY David Caruso shares the little time - he rather spends time with his new bed bunny in Miami or Rome - he has reserved for his children only with MAC but never with the girl.
There are rumors that the EXES are not getting along too well and that one or the other topic still causes frictions between the parents.
But would that keep a father from going on a stroll with his child....WHAT´S REALLY UP, Dave???

Thursday, July 03, 2008

David Caruso - The biggest asshole in Hollywood


David Caruso a pleasure to work with?
Well, some people might beg to differ. We found the following note-worthy blurb on IMDb...

......I've been told by two different people who have worked with this man that he is the biggest asshole they've ever worked with or been around...(http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000325/board/thread/110709583)

THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!!